Old friends, new learnings
I went on a trip. One of a kind. To see old friends. Its a beautiful sensation. Visiting them after such a while. Even if you have kept contact and are familiar with their life journeys. Still there is a transformation. They have grown into their lives. It touches you. One particular way it does : You learn. You learn like there is no tomorrow. I learnt more in 7 days, than maybe the last 7 years combined. Its one less-often mentioned benefit of doing this.
We met at an opportune time. We were all reaching mid-life. That time when you only have 2000 weeks left out of your 4000. Some of those weeks would be spent taking care of an arthritic knee, or a growing tumor. Slightly different undertones from those of youth. We were friends at the dawn of our youth. Young adults. 20 somethings. Lots of energy, optimism, hopes, dreams, ambitions, as it goes. A heady mix of all those. Now, 40 something adults. How does a 20 something look different from a 40 something. I wouldn’t be able to tell about myself, as I remain out of the periphery of my own observations. (case if you are not some meditation guru). But this gave a unique vantage point. To experience the 20 something, as a 40 something. So what gives. How does the flame of youth, differs from the mortgage-infused, car-loan-laden pangs of a midlife.
To be honest, not much different. It was still the same people. Even if a decade or two has flown between. Ofcourse wiser. But still irrational in their charming little ways. The irrationality of youth gave us our colors. The artistic freedoms to play our character in the drama of life. Now you see them in new light. Those twists of character, that you might have battled to unroll and straighten in the youth, now appear with an endearing childlike innocence. Having history changes things. It makes you see the person, embedded within a sprawling sketch of life. Seeing how those little twists sprinkle colors of all kinds over the canvas …. is satisfying. You almost want them to have been a little more irrational, a little more colorful, a little more naughtier version of their youthful selves.
Midlife is when most prophets had their revelations. That is if they didn’t have kid diapers to change, or school pick and drop to manage. Would have been difficult to acquire nirvana with those. A school pickup in a rush hour is enough of a mental gymnastic to take your mind off the grand scheme of the universe. A good thing I would say. Had these 40 somethings had revelations of their own ? You bet they did. We shared some. It was intense. The luxury of being listened to, given to you by old friends is a rare privilege. You could be almost two things at the same time : A blend of your vestigial youth, and an emergent midlife charm. You can voice those transitive moments unabashedly : when a 20 something crestfallen on not getting the ecstatic high of a surprise ring hidden inside the anniversary cake, slowly but surely transforms into a silently ecstatic parent of a 10 and 4 year old, who can go to grab a takeout from a hole in the wall on the eve of 15th anniversary.
